You Will Die Today

A Tourist Asked A Boat Guide: “Do You Know Psychology, Geography, Geology And Criminology?”The Guide Said: “No To All The Questions”The Tourist Then Said: “Idiot You Will Die Of Illiteracy”Suddenly The Boat Started Sinking Then The Guide Asked The Tourist: “Do You Know Swinology, Escapology Away From Crocrodielogy?”The Tourist Said: “No”Guide Said: “Today You Will Drowncology, Crocodielogy Will Eat Your Bodycology And You Will Diecology Because Of Your Bad Mouthocology“

A Little Boy Was Doing His Maths Homework

A Little Boy Was Doing His Maths Homework, Saying To Himself,“2+5 The Son Of Bitch Is 7,
 3+6 The Son Of Bitch Is 9.”His Mother Heard This & Gasped: “What Are You Doing?”The Little Boy Answered: “I’m Doing My Math’s Homework Mom”Mom: “And This Is How Your Teacher Taught You To Do It?”Little Boy: “Yes”Infuriated, The Mother Asked The Teacher Next Day,Mother: “Are You Teaching Maths To Children By Saying 2+2, The Son Of Bitch Is 4?”The Teacher Started Laughing, And Answered: “What I Taught Them Was, 2+2 The Sum Of Which Is 4“

A notice in a factory for girl workers

A notice in a factory for girl workers.
"If your skirt is long, protect yourself from machines at work..
 If it is short, protect yourself from men at work"

You had a figure like Coke bottle

Husband: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.
Wife:        Yes darling I still do, only difference is earlier it was 300ml now it's 1.5 ltrs.